Oh, hello! Nice to see you again! For those that don’t remember, I’m David. This page is a journal of my wellness journey, an accountability tool, and a way to keep things fresh for me on this long and grueling journey.
I first posted here way back in December of 2014, and I don’t think that I would have guessed that 6.5 years later I would be starting again for the umpteenth time. I know everyone always says weight loss isn’t a linear path, and one would always expect to have bad days, weeks, maybe even a month. But having a bad year, multiple bad years? I honestly wasn’t ready for that.
But here I am to attempt to rise from the ashes once again and see what can come of all of this.
Quick Update
I last posted here in late 2019 after my vacation with the fam to Disney World in Florida. Before then I breached above the 300lb mark and brought myself back down to just below it before that trip. Unfortunately, after vacation was done, my busy winter work surge began and I fell back into old habits. I couldn’t even say how much I gained back because, as usual, during those times I never have the courage to weigh myself.
Then, shortly after the busy work season, there was a little thing called Covid-19 that happened. I think I’ll talk about this in more detail in a later post, but it was a really rough time for me (as with many). Bunkering down in the pandemic while living alone in the midst of a crowded city took it’s toll both physically and mentally.
To top it off, shortly into the summer my couch broke. As in BROKE broke, and I’ll tell you this. When your mental health is already shaky, you’re conscious of your weight gain, and you break your couch, that doesn’t help matters AT ALL!
Also, for the record, I know that it’s an old couch and was on it’s way out. I really do know that, however, when you’re in that mindset it’s hard not to have those negative dark thoughts beat yourself down.
Coming Into 2021
Finally, getting into 2021, I started to drag myself out of everything and become more optimistic. I restructured my finances so I had a solid plan and looked optimistic. I slowly rediscovered cooking better and began getting some walks in. Finally, the moment of truth, when I mustered up the courage to weigh myself again.
As the caption on Instagram said, bad, but I expected worse. As I noted, my body composition could be worse because I know for sure I’ve lost strength. Either way, another point of data to start with.
Learning From My Past Failures & Successes
The positive thing, my failures and successes are pretty well documented in this blog. Going through old posts and old pics on social media, here’s some general guidelines I’ve made for myself:
- It’s all about mentality, will power and motivation are fleeting, it’s building habits and almost thinking about nutrition and fitness as medication. It’s something that I just have to do for my health.
- Don’t get too high on the highs and don’t get too low on the lows. A weird pattern I noticed is that I always wrote an overtly optimistic post before a fall, sometimes I wonder if it was over-compensation.
- I tend to get burned out with work, in fact, many of my stumbles are triggered by work related stress. I need to plan ahead and recognize what I can and can not control and act accordingly. Plan meals weeks ahead of time if need be, schedule in a walk or workout as a non-negotiable.
- Keep stretching so injuries won’t sideline me as much, also vary up different kinds of workouts. Yoga keeps popping in and out of this blog, I will make a more dedicated effort to do it more.
- On a similar note, resist the urge to push myself too hard too quickly. When you’re having the adrenaline and all the other happy hormones associated with exercise, I tend to think I’m able to do more than I can. I need to understand when to “push through” pain when to “stop immediately” because injury is imminent.
- Learn better coping mechanisms and not fall into old habits just because its comfortable and what I know. Don’t take food as both stress reliever and celebration of victory. Battle against my brain trying to convince me that what I want is the same as what’s best for me.
- Regarding cooking, plan ahead of time and cook things that I enjoy. Take it one step at a time and know that as long as I cooked it myself, it’s healthier than the equivalent bought in a restaurant (more cost effective too!)
When writing out this list, I noticed most of the bullet points relate to mental health issues and being kinder to myself. That being said, I think I will focus on mental health more in this blog. To what extent, it depends on what I’ll be comfortable sharing, but I think it would be a good idea to touch on it.
These points encompass me as a whole, and it makes sense since it’s all tied together. In short, this isn’t a weight loss journey or a fitness journey. It is an overall wellness journey.
The Purpose of This Blog
Why make keep this blog? Why can’t I just get fit and better myself as a person like a normal person? Well, that’s not my style! Also, making things public puts pressure on myself and hopefully brings me some accountability. As someone that currently lives alone and works in a field where I’m working alone a lot, I need these extra steps to bring accountability to myself.
This journal helps keep a documentation as well, so I can learn from the past. If anyone else were to stumble upon this and receive something helpful, that would be fantastic as well!
Moreover, this whole grind is grueling and long, doing this stuff is a way to keep the journey fun! And if there’s anyone else out there that’s struggling, they’ll see they’re not alone!