C’mon now, anyone that’s read a few posts on this blog saw it coming. But at least I’m working to stomp this out sooner than later.

So, here’s what happened, I had consecutive weekends of family events. Survived the first one decently, then that’s when my knee started acting up. At first I thought, “cool, having family commitments will force me to take an extra day off, so it’s a good thing.”

But then I had really low energy, so that rest extended through the weekend and now into this week. Along with poor eating habits sneaking back in as well. I didn’t do so well resisting bad food over this past weekend and just kept up that momentum into this week.

I’ll even admit that I skipped the gym this morning when it was my planned “get back on track” day. The maintenance people need to get into my apt, so I used that as an excuse to slack.

I’ve been in a weird mindset this week. I thought Sunday/Monday that maybe I was getting sick. And perhaps I am/was, but it never manifested into anything. Maybe I’m still dealing with it on the low because I’m just lethargic and low energy and motivation for anything.

It actually feel very similar to when I was burned out, which makes no sense because this is my slower season. So there’s no reason for me to be burned out from a work standpoint. Something is off and I need to figure it out soon. I know that starting workouts and eating better does correlate with that, so now it’s just going back to it and doing it.

Anniversary

Of course, as I’m feeling slightly low on myself, Facebook has to remind me that today is the 4 year anniversary of when I was then 40 lbs down.

Of course, now I’m about 50lbs heavier than I was then.

I really don’t understand why it’s so much more difficult mentally this time around. Perhaps being freelance is a part of it, much more difficult to establish routines. But as I said earlier, it’s my slower time, so I really shouldn’t be having problems, but I am. So what does that mean?

Maybe I’ll just chalk it up to maybe this sickness that’s led to tiredness, which just affected my overall mood. In either case, wasted one of my workouts by not going to OrangeTheory this morning. So while part of me is thinking, “tackle it tomorrow,” I’m hesitant to blow through my days.

Maybe I’ll go for a long walk, just get some sun and keep moving again. I still have my kettlebell, so if I’m up for it maybe swing that around a bit as well.

So, that’s it for an update. More of a complaining session, but I was compelled to write this because usually when I’m in this lethargic mood I don’t post, which really does a disservice to the whole journal concept. In the past, I’ve only posted after stopping the spiral and am amp’d up to restart. And while I’m amp’d to keep getting back up, I’m still very much in the low mentally.

But I’ll snap out, maybe get to bed early. Force myself to do some more work, and get things moving in the right direction again.